I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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