I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
