Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
