My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
honey bunches of taint.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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