I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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