Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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