my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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