Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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