Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
