We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
