Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
