so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
