My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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