In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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