weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
