If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
