last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
