Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
