i just google imaged poop.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
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I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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