she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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