Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
