if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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