Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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