I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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