am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
