Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize