i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
