adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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