The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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