in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have fence marks all over my body
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize