help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
