wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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