omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
