I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
