I want to have your abortion
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
