Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
