how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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