I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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