There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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