oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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