apparently the secret to your success is patron
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They took my balls.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
