I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
