I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
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You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.