how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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