Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
