her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
