Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
