I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
