guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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