do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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