two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
