It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
