I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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