I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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