Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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