I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
