i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm passing your future prison.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
