they need to just BURY HIM!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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