She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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