scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
