The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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